You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
