my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
