Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
