Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
