Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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