Who did Billy Mays play for?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
