that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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