My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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