she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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