You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
even my farts smell like vagina
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
