ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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