How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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