I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
