there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
