That's when you crack a 10am beer
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
