I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
