I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
