Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
