I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
