Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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