Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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