can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
