I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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