would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
