..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I came so hard my ears popped.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
