my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
