Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
