I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
