So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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