We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
