Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
