so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
