You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
