I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize