He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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