ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
