Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
