i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
