yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize