Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
