Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
