just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This is my gift to your gina
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
