He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
