Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
