Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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