Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
