Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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