you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
