Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize