The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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