I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
