She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
