You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
