I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
even my farts smell like vagina
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
