Umm I'm too high to move.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
