He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The struggles of a small town man whore
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
