so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
