So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
