Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I enjoy the company of your penis
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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